back to new york? back to madrid? back to changes.

(oh, ps, spain totally won the world cup. called it from the beginning. just sayin'.)

serious chat time, guys!

so as many of you know, i was laid off just before memorial day. this also happened about a month into my new lease in an apartment where nothing, and i mean nothing, had gone right since we moved in. (my roommate continues to be awesome. she's pretty much the only good thing about this place.) the long and short of it is this: for the first time since moving back to boston in june of '08, i'm ready to get going again.

i'm applying for jobs in boston like crazy still and i'm absolutely loving where i'm at on the music/lifestyle writing front here in town, so staying put isn't entirely out of the question. i would be lying, however, if i said that i wasn't seriously considering the following plans of action:

1) Move to Madrid, try to score an internship at El País and teach English on the side to pay rent (or try to). i'm one of those weirdos who actually prefers madrid to barcelona - everyone goes gaga for parc guell and las ramblas and the ocean and all that, and don't get me wrong, it's a fucking spectacular city (which i absolutely plan on visiting once my brother moves there in january for his semester abroad), but madrid and i just click. we get along famously and i could see myself living there in 2.5 seconds. with that said, the unemployment rate in spain is something absurd like 21% right now, it's the most expensive spot in the country to live in and i wouldn't necessarily be able to make rent just teaching english. as far as the internship/international journalism thing goes, it's always, always something i've wanted to do and i always said that if i were to get my masters in journalism i'd want to get it in london or madrid and i want to see if i can hack it on the bilingual front as a writer. huge leap of faith (and a costly one), but the payoffs? yeah, the payoffs could be pretty epic.

2) Head back to Granada and open up my restaurant with Andy. andy was one of my first friends in spain, and he's been dating one of my dearest friends for nearly four years now. i worked at andy's tapas bar in granada while i was studying there, and i had a pretty decent idea to open a particular kind of spot in the university town. andy's all about it, too, and can feasibly go in on a restaurant with me. we've only begun talks about it, but this is one of those "this would be a scary, terrifying, expensive and potentially life-changing experience in all the good kind of ways" kind of deals. i could run a restaurant in spain and live there for a year to get it off the ground. could i sink thousands of dollars into it and lose it all? sure. but yeah, currently i'm weighing the pros and cons of doing just that. i figure if there's any point in my life to gamble like this, it should be now. (oh, something to consider: this move would absolutely unequivocally piss off my family more than you could possibly imagine. i don't know if they'd calm down from it. they'd view this as pretty irresponsible, so that's weighing in pretty heavily here.)

3) Return to New York. i'm going to be 25 in january and i've always said that i want to be out of boston and either back in new york, madrid or buenos aires by 26. why not get a head start on it, if i feel like i'm hitting a rut in boston now? oh, the whole "hey let me move to a city full of people who work just as hard if not harder than i do who are smarter than i am and better at what i do than i am" thing? yeeeeah. starting over is tricky no matter how you slice it, but it would prove for a good challenge and i think i'd be able to run with the big dogs eventually. i hope, anyway. [gulp]. also - huge pro - I ALREADY HAVE A LIFE IN NEW YORK. i basically just picked up and left when i graduated, and all of my favorite people, places and things in the city are still very much so there. it's alarming to think how easily i could just fall back into old habits, but there's also comfort in that. moving there seems like the least traumatic/least costly of the options yet.

4) Look for gigs/apartments in Chicago when I'm there this week. i love chi-town, man. i'm going out there for a week to hang out with amy, help her pack up her gold coast apartment, and check out some shows while i'm in town. i get to meet nico's beautiful girlfriend (!) and frequent favorite haunts, and i get to go running along the coast of lake michigan every morning. that's swell. hopefully this trip will offer some perspective, and if anything it gives me a chance to head out of the city for a second and recharge my batteries.

phew. anyways. i feel better. thanks for listening. (or reading.) if you've got insight, dispense it, please.

X H